Our Problematic Fave | Dear Baby Maybe #31

Kelly Clarkson has always been a major source of inspiration of comfort for us. Since she was on American Idol, we have loved her as a singer and performer. As we grew to know her as a songwriter and storyteller, our admiration grew. Now as a person who does all of those things myself, I am deeply influenced by the magic of Kelly Clarkson. When you’re in High School, Kelly’s album “My December” will be crucial in getting you through a breakup. In college, her music will help you to unpack the years of sexual trauma you’ve been holding onto. And I’ve told you that our name was largely inspired by Kelly’s song “Maybe.” Or at least my fascination with the term was exacerbated by the song. With all of these ways we have relied on Kelly in the past, you can understand how difficult it has been for me to look at her career through a critical lens and actually come to think of her as more problematic than not.

I think of a problematic fave as a person you have to compartmentalize feeling about. I hold Kelly in a special place in my heart, because of what she has given me in emotional strength and musicality. Her unabashed rejection of conformity and resistance to mainstream expectations of her as a pop star early on are incredibly inspiring. But I can hold that love and respect, while also criticizing her faults. I am in a place where I can hold onto the years I held her above critique and without question, while I can really question her intent and contextualize her messages.

Nobody does breakups like Kelly. Queen of loneliness, mother of processing abandonment issues. As a person who never felt like they fit in with people around them, we latched onto her music and heartache from an early age. Ms. Independent, Since You Been Gone, the woman taught us how to navigate the world alone. Her music has strengthened our response to people leaving. Kelly’s strength in her emotional transparency is a clear inspiration to the artist I am today. But the artist I have grown into has some extra opinions about the stories she’s telling.

The message of being incomplete or worthless without a man is repeated throughout almost every album she has.

Kelly seems to wrap her brand in a “family morals” type bow, while really promoting internalized misogyny and slut-shaming. The message of being incomplete or worthless without a man is repeated throughout almost every album she has. While her perspective helped us through some of our own pain, it’s not until 10 years into her career that she finally tells us “doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone.” She sings a lot about being abandoned by men, but then goes on to compare them to girls when she wants to call them weak. She literally released a song called “Don’t Be a Girl About It,” comparing an ex to a wining little girl when she broke up with him. This is something we found funny when first released, but in later years realized to be a pretty limited way of talking. She also released a song on a recent album that can be summarized as “use your words, not your body, girls.” A song called “I Had A Dream” that basically tells the audience that Kelly’s dream is that women stop being sexually liberated. I’m not super familiar with this one, because I can’t listen without cringing at the message.

Kelly’s most recent album was just overall disappointing. Perhaps this was because it’s the album with the fewest songs she’s actually written. Perhaps it’s because so few of the songs feel like the Kelly we know and love. And perhaps it’s because there’s a lot of appropriation of Gospel and Hip Hop that I don’t love hearing from white artists. She has said that this is the music she always wanted to be singing. But then what has the last 15 years been? If she has always been a model of sticking it to the industry and doing whatever she wants, why is this music only coming out now? And why is it that this music sounds like plenty of other artists?

See, we started listening to Kelly’s music and fell in love with her storytelling. Her country roots have translated to music and songs that paint pictures and I love that. But, as we grow to think critically about storytelling and learn how to give messages to the world, I’ve become disappointed in Kelly’s. And I hope that she continues to be an inspiration to us, even if it’s an inspiration to do better than she has.

Your future,

Maybz